bcool's Blog

Fan fic sux because it's a mecca of crappy stories built on top of crappier ideas.

Here's a mocking example - the story revolves around a time traveling treasure hunter, we'll call him Colorado Jack. He goes back to find the sword of King Arthur and ends up teaming up with Merlin against Natzis that show up to get the sword for themselves. After some classic Indiana Jo-er-Colordo Jack witty banter, Saruman shows up and attacks Merlin. Battle ensues. Luckily Colorado Jack has his trusty Time Gate and calls in reinforcements. The reinforcements stream through the portal with their trademark battle cry of "Yo Joe!". The Nazi's call in their own reinforcements. A Delorian shows up with Michael J. Fox's head mounted on the hood and out steps Darth Vader. Suddenly, comets streak through the sky and crash near the battlefield. But they're not comets, they're space ships. And out step Optimus Prime and Megatron! Cue The Touch by Stan Bush. Who will win this epic fight?

Actually...that's pretty bad ass.

Oh, and there should be a character that has at least one crazy cause or conspiracy theory. Usually the conspiracy theory comes from the smart/unstable guy while the crazy cause comes from the dumb sidekick.

My vote for the cause - the Banana Blight threatening to rid the world of all edible banana's by 2012. Look it up.

Maybe you can model the crazy conspiracy guy after a guy that works with Chris. Apparently he regaled Chris with a tale about the coming end of days and how demons were already on Earth waiting until 2012 to strike (why does 2012 keep coming up?). He threw in, for good measure, a theory about how aliens were going to come and pick off those that weren't taken in the rapture. He then finished off his crazy ramblings with his suspicions that his cat wanted to sleep with his wife. Apparently a dream told him that the wife and cat used to be married in a previous life. Good times.

So are you going for an Office Space meets Old School vibe? With the popularity of Office Space and, more recently, the Office it would be hard to do a story about a young professional in the IT industry without working in some of that type of humor. If anyone gets the chance, check out the restricted content trailer for Role Models. That seems to be the kind of humor our group gravitates to.

As far as NOT BRENT goes, you want a sub-human and that's cool. Just be careful thought. You're going to realize that your big bad sub-human is actually a teddy bear. Awww, look at the cute teddy bear. Cuddle him, feel how soft he is? But then some asshole is going to try and test him and is going to find out that the teddy bear has a fuckin chainsaw for an arm! Wrooowrrrrrrrrr! How you like that shit huh?! How you like THAT!

If there is one immutable law of nature, it's that you don't mess with anything that has a chainsaw arm. It's in the bible. Look it up.

Lately my books have come from Amazon's created recommendations. The problem is that since I don't order much from Amazon, that list is giving me little other than Fantasy options right now. Hopefully this will help.

BTW - Covers, in case you're interested

This is also a low fantasy book that follows the life story of the, now retired, most famous hero in the world. I can't really do him any better justice than he does himself:

"My first mentor called me E'lir because I was clever and I knew it. My first real lover called me Dulator because she liked the sound of it. I have been called Shadicar, Lightfinger, and Six-String. I have been called Kvothe the Bloodless, Kvothe the Arcane, and Kvothe Kingkiller. I have earned those names. Bought and paid for them.

But I was brought up as Kvothe. My father once told me it meant "to know."

I have, of course, been called many other things. Most of them uncouth, although very few were unearned.

I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to Gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep.

You may have heard of me."

In short, the book is the story of Kvothe (quothe) who has quit his hero ways and spends his days incognito as an innkeeper in a small village. A traveling storyteller recognizes him and convinces Kvothe to tell his life story. This book is the first day spent in the inn telling the story. The story is extremely well told. I tend to think that, since this covers Kvothe's early life, that the story is great for people with a Harry Potter jones. In this respect it's almost as if you're wrapping yourself in a blanket that, while new, somehow reminds you of your treasured childhood binky. The voice of Kvothe is one of the more compelling that I've read in a while. Don't know if the rest of series will live up to the Harry Potter comparisons but the main character is so interesting that I have to say, I don't really care.

I think one of the reasons I like the series so far is that it takes a genre that I love in movies (the caper/con) and puts it in a new setting. The series so far is "low fantasy" - there are no dragons, and very little in the way of swords and sorcery. It handles genre stories the way that I like them most (for serious stories anyway): the fantasy/sci-fi setting serves only as a backdrop to advance the characters and stories.

The Lies of Locke Lamora - This book has a few hiccups along the way that belay the fact that this is the author's first published work. For example, the book bounces back and forth in time and can be a bit confusing until you realize what's happening. Luckily, this is remedied in the second book by labeling flashback chapters as such. There is also at least one point in the book where it says "Hey look! See this? It's an allegory!? See? Notice how things seem cool but really aren't? Allegory!" Luckily, this is gotten out of the way pretty early on and the rest of the story seems to move forward at a breakneck pace without falling into the trap again. This book is more like "The Sting" than anything else. The classic con that goes bad and then works out in the end. Only, well, things just keep getting bad much past the point where I thought "Ok, this is where they hit bottom and pull off the con through incredible cunning" That alone, with the unexpectedness of the last bad twists, made me a solid fan

Red Seas Under Red Skies - I saw this as less a pirate adventure and more of an examination of the nature of true friendship with a dose of an Ocean's Eleven type Caper. There is a literal Casino bank heist, that happens to get complicated with other parties getting involved thinking they're more clever than the heroes. This is where the Piracy comes in that Nathan mentions. But the true scope of the story seems to be examining how friendships can be affected by extreme events (namely, the events of the first book) and whether friends can work past the strains that puts on the relationship. This piece was done so well that it made an otherwise by-the-numbers type caper shine. Really serves to showcase the growth of the author.

There are 5 more books in this series - If the author can keep up this level of work, he may create one of my favorite series. As it is, the Lies of Locke Lamora is ranked up there among my favorite books books of all time (hmmm...that could be an interesting topic in and of itself)